These puns came from a discussion on the Larry Niven-L Mailing List which was originally about two Known Space starships on a collision course; one had to turn aside to the left to avoid a collision. How would the species of Known Space define "left"?

Pun Originator
The standard Grog response would be:
"You feel a crystalline certainty that left is the direction we say it is"

The standard Kzin response is
"Die, ambidextrous monkey-beast"

The standard puppeteer response is
"Adopting our definition of left will be profitable to you"

The standard Outsider response is (of course)
"Knowledge of true left can be purchased for 1 trillion stars..."

 Andrew Love
Jotoki response:
"You only have *two* alternatives, and you're complaining about it?"

Though of course left would turn out to be whatever direction Teela Brown
guessed it would be.

 Gordon Davie
You forgot the Pak:

"Which definition of 'left' will benefit my descendents."

 Frank W. Moore

If you can think of any more; email the webmasters with your suggestions.